Superfluous 2

i dont know why i am writing this...

tomorrow need to wake up early yet i am loitering here

maybe because starting from tomorrow...

i have one week holiday...yoohoo

though i am not indian, i celebrate deepavali in my own way~

i am waiting for something...

i dont really know what thing...

just something that can sparkle in my dull life....

well...happy holiday everyone:)

Insincerity

i wonder something~

is it true that guys like to double date??

it is not really my matter, but i feel angry for those girls who are being lied by their so called BOYFRIENDS.

well, i have an example,

there is this guy, who is blatantly having a girlfriend outside the college,

but dating with another girl in this college.

what does that mean?  i think this is unfair and degrading the values of woman.

who is the one who does the wrong thing?

the guy? or the "intruder" of the relationship?

the guy might be wrong, for being tempted to cheat on his girlfriend.

but, the "intruder", either she is "SOT2" or she's deprived of love.

well, both answers make me sympathize her...

why did i say that she is "SOT2"???

well, a girl who knows that the guy has another girl, a relationship and still wants to be with him~what do we call that....erm.....you know, i know...

and deprived of love, yes, most probably, when we are living in this small community with the ratio of 1:5

male and female.

but, i dont understand how can a girl just throw away her dignity or pride whatsoever just like this...

i guess a woman chauvinist like me will never understand~

another ludicrous matter~

someone did something really stupid...

well.....siapa makan cili, dialah rasa pedas, not like the pedas in MAGGI (yummy), but the spiciness that burns out from inside to outside, from heart to lungs and to every parts of the body.....huahuahua....

i think i am getting crazy...

you know what~that  someone knows what she did and got nervous over some trivial matter, and thus, busied herself thinking and justifying herself.....haha, FUNNY~

well, think before you act~now, your "ekor" is exposed....you are trying to hide it, but the swollen part is getting bigger.....and the truth is nearer to us~

AHA! i know what is the title for this entry...

INSINCERITY!

both stories share the same thing...being insincere will only give you bad things... KARMA...i believe in it~as i am a BUDDHIST....

AMITABHA~

I HOPE THAT THEY CAN TURN OVER A NEW LEAF, FIND A NEW DIRECTION IN LIFE! DON'T LIVE LIKE THIS, IT'S PATHETIC ~

Superfluous

sometimes, i just need to be ALONE.

not because of anything, anyone, any matter.

just sometimes, i need a space of my own.

without other people disturbing, without other voices in my head.

i dont know why~

my heart just feels like doing so.

ignoring everyone, pretending to not hear anything, acting as if i dont care about anything.

even if i'm being asked something,

act as if i dont know the answer, even if i knew,

and i dont feel like explaining anything,

even if being misunderstood.

i guess this is the only time i can be myself.

the only time when i can cry as hard, as loud as i want.

the only time i can scream not only in my heart.

the only time i dont need to act like a saint in front of people.

the only time i can pull off my MASK.

i am tired of the happy faces.

why should i be so happy in front of people?

CAMOUFLAGE.

as though as i have no other emotions other than happiness.

hiding my true self. 

the one who likes loneliness.

the one who hide in my "happy faced" silhouette.

the one that is only shown in front of my family.

i felt like a clown.

pretending in front, smiling in front, and dying inside~

when can i be free?

AFTERLIFE! i guess.

i am a bit concern about myself.

am i losing my mind? am i?

i dont know, but cant be, isn't it?

i am still normal. i think.....

d cereal guy...Hell yeah

seriously....i found a page in facebook......namely: Cereal Guy

it's so so so so funny~

i cant help but to laugh....

hahahhahahhahahahhaa

i guess stupidity also suits me well~

well.....we need to relax sometimes.....

tomorrow it's going to be a test for literasi bm...

hope that i dont get doomed~hahahhaa

here, i provide you with the link for 

(drums)

dadaaddadadadadarardrdardsrdarsdardrdardrdadadara BANG!!!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Cereal-Guy/188892224474463

Ozibala part 2

WHY AM I LIKE THIS???

i also have no idea~

i am on the edge now....

having dilemma

should i, or should not...

i read an article today...

it says that

100 marks woman, no man would dare to go near her, as she is either booked, or  too good, and due to the pride of man, she is left alone.

80 and 60 marks woman, man would like to get them, since they have things that man likes. face, body, and intelligence which is so not intelligent.

those women who are under 60 marks, no man would dare to touch, as they are just not man's type.

For a woman, you can have nothing but not pride.

this is from ME!

even if you have no man, have no money, have nothing at all, and even if you are being dumped by some jerk, you MUST'NT go and beg him to be with you again.

it's a SHAME!!!

and a quote i found in a book:

most people found that they fall in love with one person, but they have no idea, why did that happen~
and so, they started to love that person unconsciously, and started to hate that person unconsciously.

QUOTES

these few days....i love those quotes in facebook~i guess it's a trend now, to share those quotes....actually, everyone knows those quotes, only that it is in the form of a picture with super big words now, we began to pay attention to them.

there are a lot of quotes that had caught  my attention.

especially a few~

firstly,

IT'S HARD TO PRETEND THAT YOU LOVE SOMEONE WHEN YOU'RE NOT, AND IT'S HARDER TO PRETEND THAT YOU DON'T LOVE SOMEONE WHEN YOU DO.

first impression, what a good quote. totally true~

but for me, i am very good at putting my mask on. i think i deserve a prize for that. aha...

secondly,

WORDS MAY LIE, BUT ACTIONS TELL THE TRUTH.

from my friend's experience, i can tell that this is true, indeed, words can be twisted, but actions that bring out human nature? guess what? hmm

these days, i am thinking, did i do anything wrong???i just dont understand, and i cant stop thinking..

another quote:

SOMETIMES, I FEEL THAT WE ARE JUST FRIENDS, SOMETIMES, I FEEL THAT WE ARE MORE THAN FRIENDS, AND SOMETIMES, I FEEL THAT WE ARE LIKE STRANGERS.

guess what, among all the quotes, this one tells everything.

frankly, i am sick of it. sick of everything.

well, it's better to find someone who loves you more than you love him~i think i am going to find that someone soon...as soon as i reach my time limit....when is that??well, not much time left~

suffer

well....what i need to say was said...

what i need to do is done...

it is not in my hands now....

it is out of control....

you dont want to listen,

it's your decision...

i dont care if it is right or wrong..

it is just too much for me to take...

i have nothing to offer now...

i will just do my job and leave everything~

dont ask me to do anything anymore....

i am not someone you just ask for nothing~

i am not a slave...

WHAT THE FUCK????

i said before, compose and listen to him first, but what you people did was plain complaining and taking anger out of something~

and i kept giving advices, i kept saying dont fight and quarrel....

you people said you were not by giving a really annoying looks...frankly, even i feel that it is annoying!

now, it falls back to me...

i took charge of the thing, i have to take the responsibility...

and now, you said:you are the president, you are the biggest here, you make the decision...

so, it has become me now huh???

then before, when i gave advices???i was not the president???

i think i am only someone whom you people think you can direct as long as you like it!

i am already stressful....please la...make less problems for me!!!

SHIT!DAMN!WHAT THE FUCK!HELL-O!WHAT THE HELL!FUCKING CRAP!!!

this is not for you to see, but if you saw this, i am sorry...you picked the wrong blog~

SUCKS

i thought i am strong enough to face all these problems...

but, when all those problems come,

i realised that i am not strong enough...

i also need somebody to ask me 

"are you ok"

i am tired of being in the middle of some people's fucking childish game...

are you guys done??

if you people really want to do it that way, 

FINE....just be prepared to take my responsibility,

i am not going to take it anymore.

what do you expect me to do??

if you guys are not willing to cooperate...

lets not do this...

after all, we wont be doing a good job~

it's just going to be a damn thing for you all to trigger the conflicts~

isn't it??

if you want to talk behind my back, FINE, just say it!

it has no effect on me....

only an advice: not only i wont hear it....

you would get karma too...for talking back about ME!!!

i am not pointing this to anyone??if you feel something, means you have done something~

*i have not mentioned anybody's name here.

p/s: I HAVE NO MONEY!PLEASE DON'T SUE ME!

Thought

if you thought that i would be affected,

i'm sorry, i won't.

if you thought this is the best way,

i'm sorry, it isn't.

if you thought i would care,

i'm sorry, i wouldn't.

i thought i would care,

but, the reality is,

i don't really care,

it's is just another story of a girl met a guy

nothing much to be talked about,

if you thought that i don't know,

i'm sorry, i knew it from the start,

i just kept silent,

for i don't want to get affected.

however,

there's only one thing that i am not sure about,

but i won't ask,

there're only two possibilities,

and both of them....

do not bring any good to me~

so, live well, you J...

ozibala

all of sudden~i feel like writing in chinese~

so, dont mind me~

我不知道我到底要的是什么，

也不知道到底你要的是什么，

不过，你的一举一动已经影响了我，

不知道如何是好，

可是，我又不能做任何事，

世俗的眼光，

对我，就是那么的有影响力，

我无可否认，

为你动了心，

但，

这一切一切，

让我不知所措，

它，

是来得太不合时了吗？