Superfluous

sometimes, i just need to be ALONE.

not because of anything, anyone, any matter.

just sometimes, i need a space of my own.

without other people disturbing, without other voices in my head.

i dont know why~

my heart just feels like doing so.

ignoring everyone, pretending to not hear anything, acting as if i dont care about anything.

even if i'm being asked something,

act as if i dont know the answer, even if i knew,

and i dont feel like explaining anything,

even if being misunderstood.

i guess this is the only time i can be myself.

the only time when i can cry as hard, as loud as i want.

the only time i can scream not only in my heart.

the only time i dont need to act like a saint in front of people.

the only time i can pull off my MASK.

i am tired of the happy faces.

why should i be so happy in front of people?

CAMOUFLAGE.

as though as i have no other emotions other than happiness.

hiding my true self. 

the one who likes loneliness.

the one who hide in my "happy faced" silhouette.

the one that is only shown in front of my family.

i felt like a clown.

pretending in front, smiling in front, and dying inside~

when can i be free?

AFTERLIFE! i guess.

i am a bit concern about myself.

am i losing my mind? am i?

i dont know, but cant be, isn't it?

i am still normal. i think.....