change?

When you have to be too cautious with what to do and what to say, the relationship is superficial.

This is what i thought recently, too much thinking, maybe.

Sometimes, i just want to find someone to talk to, to tell things, but apparently, it's not easy to find someone who will really be happy for you, except for families. I want to tell if i have something good going on, if i bought something new, if i have a new crush (seeing that i used "new", i always have crush on someone, haha).... but, what i have found out, not everyone can be happy for you. Some might even think that you are showing off, is it so wrong to tell your friend that you have something and wish that they would be happy for you? 

It is so hard to even talk nowadays....being ignored, passed by, made me want to stop telling, even stop talking. Yet, when i really stopped telling, i got response like "you dont even tell me". What am i supposed to do when i got ignored for telling? Is this the process of growing up and blending into the society?Being fake to ourselves? I guess it is, since we need to be good to other people, make sure that we are not hated by any.

Without any doubt, people changed, relationship changed, and I, need to change. 

JUSTBECAUSEIMMABORINGLADY

Okay, the thing is, i like to watch horror and thriller movies. But, i don't have the gut do watch. I mean, i do watch, but the subtitles and my palms. Aha.

Recently watched The Conjuring with my friend. Not in the cinema, I am sure that would be 150% more terrifying than watching it in my room with all my pillows, in a broad daylight...Kidding, just with the lights on. And I wouldn't dare to comment much as I believe i don't have the qualification to judge, based on my actions while watching it.

However, what i got from all the reviews before watching it, it was all about the Anabelle(is it even correct) doll. I was sorta anticipating the appearances of it/her but it came out as more to the possession of the witch mother. And, that's all from me. LOL

By the way, i am really proud of the director, James Wan. I bet he must have had lotsa downfalls before becoming a big hit. It's fascinating how he can make the sound effects sound so terrifying. Or it was the sound editor work? Whatever.....

Anyway, i am thinking of being more committed in anything that i do starting from now. And the first one is "Resting". AHA.

just me

Haven't logged in for some time now. Well, i was busy. NAH...it's an excuse. If i wanted to log in, i would have. Maybe it's just because i didn't have anything in particular to write. As of now, nothing. Yup, still nothing to write. But i just wanna write.

Feeling like updating about the students in school and bla bla bla...but, never mind, too much of the topic would make me sick, literally. AHA! Well, let's talk about other things.

Have you ever been so desperate to tell someone a long-kept secret and finally told that someone and it got blown? Well, i have. I was a person who trusts easily. Whenever someone has gotten my trust, i can tell everything and anything. But, i might have underestimated the way society works. To be honest, I can tell the whole world that i am proud of being able to keep the secrets people told me. Even until now, i have not spread other people's secret. (pls: if they asked me not to tell anyone. aha.) But, i am wondering if i am too naive or what. I have told somebody my secret and that secret was known by other people. I was so sad but i could not do anything. So, i've changed. Many said i changed. they said i don't answer much, always kept it to myself.

Yes, I've changed. But it's the society that changed me. I wanted to be the same person. But trust, it's not easy to give it to people anymore. So, if you think i am quieter beside you, you might be the reason.

After vomiting all these words, i feel better, at least a 0.1 percent better.

ps: I don't lie too, except for white lies. But i do bluff. haha